Columbia apology

I wonder if any of my teachers ever pulled my parents to the side and told them they thought something might be wrong with me. I can hardly remember growing up. Bits and pieces. I don’t remember having a speech problem. But I did run into Tom Tababta At the country market and even grown up he teased me. Studdard when I shook his hand and introduced myself. “sssscccooottt Cacaclllaarkk”. I spelled his name wrong UN purpose. Brought back bits and pieces. Being bullied is on my bucket list to write about. But today I’m trying to remember what was so bad David Crenshaw and I planned to run away. Our little kids minds were going to be like tom and huck build a raft and exit from the east end of beautiful Clarklake to where ever our little minds imagined. I can remember being grounded to my bedroom for at least two years. 5th and 6th grade. I was allowed to go to school. I wasn’t grounded for trying to run away but because I was doing badly at school. I was a terrible kid. “I’m Sorry”. David moved to Brooklyn. It became my plan to run away till it was exposed by my mom finding a duffle bag of food I had been stashing for the escape. I don’t remember what was so bad. I think it was being misunderstood. I remember talking with Brian Miller. “My parents wouldn’t get so mad at me if they just understood me”. Could no one understand me cause I wasn’t ticking right? I don’t know. I was always a small kid. So I was picked on and bullied. Maybe that’s why I wanted to run away. You ever just want to crawl under a rock? Some meds might have helped several teachers perform their job. Had the teachers known I was being lodged in my bedroom like a prisoner…. I don’t know.. I am me. I accept responsibility for everyone I’ve picked on. I don’t remember what I did to you “I’m sorry”. Kim Campbell, Brian Cochran, Corey? from Hyde road. Jeff Rhoda I’m sorry. I seen you at the Tibbs Pavilion and you wouldn’t shake my hand. I was rotten to you and You stirred my memory. “I’m sorry”. Not trying to put stuff on my dad. He watched me being bullied he told me “fight back.” If someone gives you shit whip their ass. “If you don’t think you can whip them” “Pick something up and hit'em with it.” I think I bullied on you guys because I could because you were younger. “I’m sorry”. You know you don’t grow out of some things. And as I drove past Michigan international speedway I thought why didn’t I punch Tom tabada right in the face as I shook his hand and he mocked me? He wouldn’t have seen it coming. Kim Campbell, Amy Kellie, and Marcie King I picked on you because crushed on you. “I’m Sorry”. My battery is failing me. Quickly I’m sorry to Mrs. foster. My mind could not do algebra. So I made your class harder on you and my classmates. I’ve never been hauled to the office so fast. I’m sorry! I don’t know that I was ever rotten to my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Robold. I do remember her sitting me down in a chair when all the other kids went out for recess. She sat me down and told me “you are going to have to learn to read”. Fourth grade shouldn’t I have been reading? My dad says he dropped out of school at 12 years old. Says he had slured speech and kids picked on him so bad he just quit going. That was my plan too. I remember how afraid I was in class to be called on to read out loud in class. Thank you Mrs. Robold! I do a little writing now. My kindle video includes four poems
I’ve written and recited by me.
I read scripture at mass, out loud.
I started attending St Mary's nine years ago. I've not been to church in so long I have to apologize to Father Paul and FatherJoe. Mass starts in four minutes.my-disclaimer.html?m=1

The Bucket List

The bucket list

 Is it a real bucket or a real list? I have no life threatening prognosis.

However anxiety builds and I’m compelled to write.  It’s what I feel I have to do.

I can’t explain it.right-write-written.html 

 Here I sit writing my bucket list. On a bucket as I ice fish.

Does it matter what I see or have seen happening in my lifetime?

 I don’t know what’s what or who’s who. But I wish you could all see the way I do.

(Wish the fish would start to bite too).be civilized sooner-or-later-were-all-dying .html 

I use to fish in my dreams or fall asleep thinking of going fishing.

Anymore I don’t dream.  Instead I fall asleep thinking of what I should write.

I have 8 or 9 things I’d like to write about. I don’t know what order they go.

Overwhelmed? Why do I feel I need to write anything?

I can hardly read.  I can read of course……  It just seems I forget

 From the top of the page to the bottom.  Somewhere in the middle I had to read a sentence

3 times to understand what it meant.  So why do I feel like I have an obligation to write.

I feel like I have a story to tell but just like I read I get lost when I write…

My poems are inspired by experience in my life.

It’s my bucket list!

Man I wish these fish would bite.               

hidden-from-reality.html 

              Bob Jenkens   

Humanity (believe you me)

Quite simply put
People need to believe
Whatever they need
To live in peace with themselves
To save this planet
From our own selfish greed
No hate in believing
Peace could be
Believing in you
And believing in me!


Bob jenkens

                                               bob jenkens

coin star Christmas

Maybe I should make a Will write for food sign and take my struggle to the streets.

Every Wal-mart I've been to has a coin star machine. I've used one many times. You go around your house and car to find every piece of change you can find. You put it into the coin star machine and it counts it. Takes its share and gives you a voucher to take to a register. You can get your dollars to go buy candy or beer but in my experience I’m buying diapers or food. It’s my money but the coin star machine helps provide for my struggle. Live to fight another day right? I've seen other people use the coin star machine. Seen the embarrassment on their face from having their struggle forced into public. Then passed them in the store spied into their cart to see bottled water, food or something else you know they severely needed.  Makes me wish so bad that I had some extra money to give to help them. Just some money could give them hope. 

when your struggling so bad someone reaching out from behind you in line is divine intervention.

They've obviously brought their life savings to buy some small commodity and what will I do when the diapers run out this time? Next time I take the bottles back. That’s what I did. And I pray for a roof job to fall out of the sky on me.  I can roof a house by myself in a week. Now being a single dad   I pray for a baby sitter as well.  If I looked down and found a twenty dollar bill I would thank God. And since I don’t ever seem to have an extra twenty. I do say a prayer for the people I see with my very same struggle…. Just to survive.

Prayers 

God Bless
struggling-writer.html?m=1

if it bleeds it leads (kindle sample)

Bullied homeless by professionals in a nutshell

Anyone know what to do when a 911 call has been fabricated and changed by Sheriffs? Help.

In March Lenawee District Judge Laura Shadler scolded me as she evicted me and my 3 year old son from our house.  “Mr. Clark single moms raise their children by themselves everyday you need to get it together!” My mom was with me. She raised her hand and judge shadler let her speak. She told the judge “I don’t stick up for Scott often, but this county will not help a man like they will a woman”. The judge agreed with her.  I wasn't sure what to say there’s a lot more I wish I had said.  I told her “I commend single moms everywhere.”  “Truth is your honor this is my child he’s my responsibility. I didn't find out about him until he was almost 3 months old.( Lenawee county children protective service contacted me to tell me I needed to take a dna  test . I asked if the baby was in danger and I was told “No he’s not”.   ) I told the judge this rent money I owe isn't current rent I've paid over a thousand dollars over my rent in the last year trying to catch up. I got behind back when I found out I was a new dad.”  Just like I found out about my new son I found out his mom was a heroin addict up stairs in Judge Greg Iddings court when children protective service removed him from her and placed him in my custody.  I continued telling judge shadler how cps tried using the baby as a tool to sustain mom’s sobriety. They scheduled visits with us and would choose 3 days a week when I would be required to bring Gavin to Adrian to a park, McDonald's or DHS. They would swab his mom for drugs as any condition. If she wasn't going to pass she would say she didn't have a ride and they would tell me I had to make the visit up. I never missed a visit.  This went on for ten months your Honor “That’s when I got behind it drove me into the ground”.

 She concurred with Barb Nelson that I had paid her rent over and above since she bought  the trailer park in February. I asked the court for a motion of discovery to have Barb show me where she bought the debt from the previous owner. (phil French). Judge Shadler told me” that was none of my businesses. She then asked barb if she wanted to add to any dollars for anything else. Barb told her she wanted to add 10 dollars a month for my dog which hadn't been included.  “Mr. Clark” the judge said. “Didn't I sentence you to probation for attempted obstruction of justice? You’re not supposed to have a dog.”  (This is when I was almost held in contempt). I stood up and told her “no that’s not true you’re Honor” You signed the release papers”. My mom’s next to me trying to get me to sit down. I look to mom and tell her “no mom, let’s get this on the record”.  I turned back to the judge. I told her “your wrong your honor. To even be talking about this. It’s not why we’re here today. I’m being evicted from my home today. Do you want to talk about the 911 call you fabricated to produce the crime you just mentioned?” She told me I was about to be held in contempt.  With no attorney I sat down let the judge take my home.  Michigan law gives the owner of a trailer 90 days to move their home when evicted from a mobile home park. I asked her about that she denied that request and gave me 10 days to be out of my house. 

  About the recorded 911 call I made to the Lenawee county sheriff’s office. My name is Scott Clark.  A Specs Howard graduate I have a degree in broadcasting. I've worked at Q-95 country, mix 102.5. I write poetry and I like to produce them in audio. I use a program called cool edit pro. It allows me to mix recordings so I put music behind and sound effects. I've had productions featured on the smashing pumpkins web page. The cool edit program lets you visualize words.  If you pop a p you can see it. We used it at the radio station to produce commercials. If there was a swear word in a song we could high light it and make it play the bad word play backward thus in audible.

 I was involved in an incident with Lenawee county animal control, Deputy David Borton on July 25. He took my dog who is my good best friend. He also was threatening to take my baby. Six days later I was arrested for assaulting a police officer. You know as well as I do if you assault an officer you go to jail. They don’t wait six days. State police were there as well and took my complaint of assault against deputy borton.  I foia requested the 911 call  because I know audio and with my computer I can separate a room full of noises. It was my intent to show what really happened. When I got the 911 request it’s obvious it’s been altered. It has a music bed roll placed on it. The properties on my cool edit pro program says there’s 16 possible splices in the call. It identifies the changes were made August 1^st the day I was arrested.  With my audio knowledge you would think I could easily have this case dismissed. During the incident deputy took my dog. He practically pic maneuvered me and my 15 month old baby with my dog in the back of the truck. He was threatening to take my baby as he raced toward me coming up my drive way. I don’t even know what he’s raging for. I called 911. The dispatcher put me on hold. I had my baby on my hip and the phone in my hand. I held the phone out and told the deputy what the dispatcher said to me “your gonna have to talk to my sergeant.” That’s when deputy borton smacked my phone in my hand. It took me six months to get my dog back. I had two court appointed attorneys’ quit me because I insisted we use the 911 call. And they insisted Judge shadler would not let that into the court room. Attorneys’ John Glazier and Erick kiaser are incompetent. I had to raise 3000.00 dollars to get a lawyer from out of town. When I retained him I told him my number 1 priority was to get Mr. Sparky wags back. I’m a roofer now and I bet Sparky and I have roofed 100 houses. He doesn't do anything. He just lays there and watches me. He always knows when it’s lunch time and when it’s time to go home. My daughter Zoe use to think Sparky only knew three words or phrases, Hot dog, outside and I Love you. Sparky listens better than most kids and having him taken from me was a crime. My paid attorney got my dog back if I would agree to plead guilty to the lesser charge of attempted obstruction. I did and got sentenced to probation 2800.00 in fines restitution and for the two paid court appointed attorneys that quit me.  Almost 6 thousand dollars and I’ve just been given a baby to take care of by myself. I wish I had been able to tell the judge that. I still have never gotten a child support check or even a pack of wipes from Gavin’s mom. Even when I was on unemployment Lenawee county friend of the court kept taking money from my checks even though I had the baby 24/7. Judge shadler says “get it together Mr. Clark”.  Can’t she see what the sheriffs and her have done is take my home. I recorded phone conversations with lieutenant Aungst and lieutenant ewald. I tell ewald “you guys are gonna be on  Nancy grace before this is done”. He laughs and says it won’t be the first time. Calls me back five minutes later and says “I want to give you the heads up this 911 tape has been altered”. “I don’t know why anyone would do this he said”. I replied “to make it look like something different happened than what really happened”. The lieutenant replied “ I can’t even argue with that. I’m looking at it.” Judge laura  told me “Michigan law lets her decide what happens to my dog” no matter what. So I dropped the 911 stuff and got my dog back. I still have all the recordings and finish probation next month. Sparky and I are back to work. Don’t have a place to live yet. Work is not the same without him. Glad he’s back. What should I do???? Or have done??
 Look at my video "a shower of rain". you'll see sparky gettin his teeth brushed and just laying around my job sites.

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who's on first? what's on second? where is safe?

 

The question now is where is safe?
The tragedy at Sandy Hook elementary school could leave doubt any where is safe.    In fact if you look back at the year 2012 shooters targeted malls, villains targeted movie theatres.
  Earth quakes, tsunami's even war has a little more understanding than these senseless killings.
  We try and prepare for tornadoes or fires to save lives. We have students running drills. Understanding evacuation plans and procedures. The question isn't who's on first? Or whats on second? The question now is where is safe? Where is our security blanket? Shouldn't we feel that our professionals our Judges, Sheriffs, police, council members and government officials don't they have it all under control?
 Have you been in a court building lately? They have guards and metal detectors at the door protecting their own security. Thursday March 13 the daily telegrams lead story "county ID policy stopped" it was stopped partly because three council members failed to show up for the vote. The telegram reports the biggest objection on the ID policy was from the prosecutors office over concern the badges could make their employees a target of violence. Their professionalism will lead to violence toward them? our public officials have their own security at interest. their own agenda. Weather it be a radicalized Citizen a disgruntled co worker or a crazy gamer what's the answer to the question?
 The question now isn't who's on first or what's on second? The question now is where is safe?

                                                                                                            Bob Jenkens

Will-Write-Food-Bob-Jenkens-ebook/dp/B00H5XTPGA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=will+write+for+food+bob+jenkens&qid=1612661763&sr=8-1

                 Paul Harvey "if I were the devil".

Two of my poem's. "Ketchup" and "job related stress". I spent 17 hours doing the audio in the 60 second piece. The video is thrown together I'm a sound man. But consider every roof in the video I roofed by myself. Well me and my dog Sparky wags.

              Sparky at work pouring cement

A tear is a shower of rain

 
This is my test of the electronic publication system. Tests, if we can relate.
My words to your feelings. This is only my test. Pass it on.
four of my poems from my kindle books are featured. narrated by me mixed with
Smashing pumpkins music.  !

Early February maybe May. kindle direct

You might notice my videos are full of a bunch of roofs. My grandpa Danny was from Poland his last name is radjenski. He couldn't read but made up for it by having a great work ethic.
"Learn you a trade" he would say "something to fall back on". I'm afraid of heights but I some how ended up being really good at roofing. Mark Edwards from Irish hills construction swears I have mountain goat in my blood, But the best comparison I heard last year. From an old man who lived next door to the house I was roofing. He told me  "Your like a little kid on a great big pile of sand." "Thank you" I told him."You only appreciate it because you watched me do it all by myself." It was 100 degrees on the ground.  I left sparky home in the A/C a couple days. I bet we've roofed 100 houses together but he still don't do anything. He knows when it's lunch and when it's time to go home. I don't have to chain him up on a job. He stays right under me. Watching me. He's been on one or two roofs. I think he realizes the danger . I tell him "If I fall grab my phone and call for help."
  When I worked at the radio station. I didn't make enough money to depend on just my radio salary.
I had to go to work after work. And I know roofing So I talked on the air about certain jobs I was doing. It was a perk to the job. "Irish hills construction, Million builders, Walsh builders."  They wanted to hear their names on the radio so I gave mentions to whose roof I was doing. At the radio station they kept firing people. Tell me their job was my job now. pretty soon I didn't have time to roof on the side and radio didn't pay any more so I had to let it go. When the building trade collapsed work got thin.

 I started going to church right between 2006, 2007. Easter It was pre spring. like a February thaw when I wrote "Early February maybe May". I started writing it in early February. I grew in faith as birds came back. Trees and flowers bud and blossomed.With no title yet I finished it maybe May. Ever since then I have great hope for my opportunities in February.During March I hope maybe May. Maybe May I open up and flourish. After May I have to wait again until early February.

 "Learn you a trade to fall back on" I enjoy being on a roof. any one who has watched me will tell you "He sings and sh-t up there." Tries to sing I Belt.  Any way I don't know that any one but me hopes the weather will break and I'll get a chance to roof a house. Just me and my dog. (what happens in April?)

DAMIT

          "DAM IT"
No matter how bad it seems.
It could be worse.
Like when you cut yourself and
Don't bleed.
You just know "IT HURTS".
                      bob jenkens

Have you ever gashed yourself? Look at it so fast you see white meat?
Think for a second "at least it's not bleeding"? Then the gash fills in with blood you lift my hand and the blood runs down my arm dripping from my elbow. Damit!

I write in one of those black and white composition books.  Always use a pencil but never the eraser. I scribble circle things and start over allot. I wrote this while working at mix 102.5 in Adrian Mi. On one of those little sticky notes. It never had a title until I put it in my little black book.  
 This was just another test trying to get a link to my Author page at Amazon Author Central.
COMPUTER FRIENDLY is an oxymoron!

If you build it he will come... If you write it they will come???

If you believe the impossible, The incredible can come true. So says Kevin Costner in his 1988 film "Field Of Dreams". He sacrifices all financial stability tilling his crops under to build a baseball field with a miniature grandstand and a ghost baseball team that comes from the home run end of a corn field. Although he's threatened with foreclosure and loosing every thing he still risks every thing to still leave the farm to chase after a writer whose pulled from society and living in the city. He brings the writer back to the farm the "Field of Dreams". He never writes a story. Regardless people start showing up. I don't know how every one's gonna sit in that little grand stand.
  If you write it they will come!!! If you believe the impossible, the incredible can come true.
If you write it they will come... I haven't done any drastic measures to promote my kindle book "will write for food". I have put myself out there. I might have picked a better poem to be page one had I known it was going to be a sample of what was in the book. I put it first because that is the first poem I've ever written.
It didn't have a title for the longest time. Then I considered "WHY"  did I write this?



        "WHY"

I have no doubt in my mind
   Someday I will affect the lives
of many people in a positive way
   Someday my life will open up
and flourish
   That's why I survive.


I wrote this piece in southern Michigan prison. It was like 25 years ago. I was wanting to just die. Did you know it's hard to kill yourself even in prison. I knew God was using this experience to teach me something or maybe even to get me to write.  Still surviving anticipating a bloom.
I know Iv'e made a difference in a few peoples lives, I exspect the best is comming.

Pray! Run walk or Crawl just keep going...it's gotta go somewhere

When I was little and fell, I'd get back up it's natural. I may have cried. Maybe my mom ran over and  dusted me off or I just shook it off. I never considered staying down.  I never realized how getting back up would translate into starting all over at life weather it be a career change, an accident, a life threatening illness or even fallen into our Judicial System. I admire people that can put all their faith in God. People who's faith is so strong it's like nothing worries them. I'm not like that at all. Last Sunday I read liturgy at Mass at St Mary's. Father Paul wasn't feeling well (prayers 4 him) so Father Joe officiated. Father Joe's a younger man.. he'll thank me for saying that. He's great wears a beanie and rides a Harley. During father Joe's Homily he admitted he was a worrier. Says he worries all the time. How can this be? I see him Love his life running from one church to the other doing Mass in two different towns on Sunday. He gives most of his time to Sacred Heart in Hudson.
 I've spoke there to. Actually I was asked to talk on Pentecostal Saturday  about five years ago. Only I didn't realize the importance of this day. When we got there the church was absolutely packed.  And I volunteered to get up and read a play. I studied and prepared but I have issues with anxiety and just before things get started I'm always worried. Everything went fine when I did my reading I scanned the eyes in every pew. There was no body who wasn't listening to me. Turns up this Saturday event is a day for confession. Automatically I see an opportunity to confess to a Father I didn't know that didn't know me.. Am I wrong? I didn't want my church to know I've been in prison.
 I beat up on myself as I confessed to him.... I seem to have given up... I told him how I've been in prison. For a fist fight I got into when I was only 18 years old. I got out and went straight to the Specs Howard school of broadcast arts.
  I confessed I feel an importance in my life to prevent this from happening to other young people... I'm not sure how I expected a radio career to do this. (I talked to thousands of people.) I told him I use to feel important. I've planned and orchestrated food drives filling rental trucks with food. Food that was going to feed families that were gonna be hungry without it. I Spoke at school functions. Now I'm a dumb roofer.  ( I Love being on a roof but it's not glamorous.)  I remember his face golden hazel eyes and silver hair nodding toward the podium I had spoke from. "Why did you get up there and do that?" he asked referring to my reading.  Because they asked me to I replied.( there were about eight other readings that day). He told me I should be an actor or something. That he watched my eyes as I spoke to every single person in the church. He told me "Quit beating up on yourself If God wants you on the radio that's where you'll be".    He told me "Just Do what God Asks".

. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.  I'm not the guy without worries. I worry myself sick. I wish God would ask me to do something and give me an instruction booklet. I can follow directions so I use my free will to do what I think is right. I seem to always get knocked down. I've  started over so many times. I get back up. I don't mean to preach. It is Lent. A time to do something specific in regard to personal spiritual renewal. 
  I had Gavin handed to me by child protective service just months after. Father told me "do what God asks you to do". 

 I was emotional that day in just waiting to get to my confession station. I Knew I had a baby on the way from a relationship my church would not approve of. The Mother wanted to abort the baby and I was against it. Sometimes I wish I'd never met her but at the same time wonder where me and Gavin would be without each other. During her Pregnancy she would call me and demand money for  an abortion.  

 I write poems about things I don't know why. During this period I wrote "Pro Life". /pro-life.html

 I  guess I write the way I feel.

                                                   

Better get my Ash to Church!

I must of drove two hundred miles today. I know it would never work but to bad I couldn't write while I drove. Not like texting  and driving that's crazy. I'm just saying my mind can write 6 chapters I'd like to write. 20 minutes at 63 mph. Then there's a chapter break. 35 back this way behind a school bus stopping over and over. Wish I could record my thoughts.... wouldn't that be scary.
Today being Ash Wednesday Jesus and his disciples were headed into the Passover. Jesus knew his fate. God told him you will be given up so that all mans Sins may be forgiven. Jesus didn't run off he gave his self up..Peter Simon struck a guard and cut off his ear in the garden, Protecting Jesus. Jesus told him put his sword down.
And I think he put the dudes ear back on. I wish I had been there. I'm not an evangelist, I've only been going to church for about 8 years.   Today while I was driving I was thinking back to when I worked at the radio station Paczki's were a jelly donuts on fat Tuesday. I remember announcing on the air Something   about it being "Good Wednesday" and I called "Ash Friday". My listeners called me and corrected me. I felt dumb. better get my Ash to Church.. Oh ya almost forgot why I posted this... You don't need an invitation to go to Church. I attend St Mary's of the lakes "all are welcome".