you mean i'm gonna stay this color? (Steve Martian) the jerk!

"I was born a poor black child". That's an opening quote Steve Martin makes, In the 1979 movie the jerk. In the movie he's been adopted by a poor African American family and grows to adult hood naively unaware of his obvious adoption. He don't realize the difference in skin color compared to the rest of the family. And his brothers tease him because of his utter lack of rhythm while they set out on the porch playing blues music. One night he hears a orchestra song on the radio and his feet begin to move with an urge to dance. He sees this as a calling and leaves his family to discover his purpose in life. After he hikes from home he finds employment and a place to stay by taking a  job at a gas station. After a period there the new phone books come out. Steve Martins at his best jumping up and down thrilled to death to find he's listed in the local phone book, and his name is in print for the first time. "The new phone books are here the new phone books are here".
 I'm gonna be that way myself. First time I'm in print. I'm not adopted but I was naively unaware my adult hood could be so greatly affected by a child hood that I couldn't understand. I don't know if there was a missed diagnosis and I had Learning disabilities. Or if I just didn't care to learn. I can remember my fourth grade teacher Mrs Robolde sitting me in a chair while all the other kids left for recess. She didn't scold me in an abrasive way ans told me "you are gonna have to learn to read." 

 When did I start writing? or have I yet? Writing is how I vent. I can't write elaborate stories with fictional character's.
I just scribble my feelings down on paper. Sometimes I can write it and you couldn't have said it any better having felt it yourself. The first piece I wrote was in prison in Jackson Michigan. so was the second, third, fourth. It was during the Governor  Engler administration when they were still trying to rehabilitate convicts. Jackson community collage offered classes. well now I was a little more eager to learn. I took a full load every semester and carried a 3.47. Course I had to drop algebra. A real learning experience  let me tell you. My first night in Jackson I seen a guy get stabbed 17 times over a two dollar crape game. I Don't roll dice. I seen people literally loose their sanity and need to be restrained and hauled off. Only to come back weeks later drugged up so bad they couldn't defend themselves. Speaking of coming back I did enough time to see prisoners come and go and come back and go again. I'm not bragging. How many guys were writing poetry? I didn't let them know I did. But I'd show it to them now.. I wonder how many of those guys are still there? Some of them were doing double natural lives. Before I was released from  prison I applied to the Specs Howard school of broadcast arts and was accepted. I wanted to pursue a career in radio because I somehow thought I could share my experience and prevent a younger generation from learning the way I did. from not wanting to learn to read or learn in general.
My grandpa use to say "never be afraid to let someone learn you something". "Things aren't going to come natural to you." 
That's what he told me. I had to find out for myself somethings wrong with me... That's all I can say about that.
That's me with my pants down. All I need is this chair and this paddle ball thing..... and maybe someone to see... me for who I am. 
    

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