Here we are now day five at the hospital. He went into shock last night so tonight I'm spending the night with him. I think everyone wants to have great accomplishments for their parents to see. So as a parent you know you did a good job parenting. I'm ashamed that I set here with my dad like this and I've never flourished. Dad has witnessed my dumb luck he knows how hard I try. He loves me just the same. Parents that have Ivy League students that accelerate at acodemics probably wouldn't be to happy with my constant struggles. Even still could they understand me?
My dad does. My dad was so proud of me when I got out of prison. After four years of me being gone I guess just coming home is what made him so happy. I was enrolled in Specs Howard school of broadcast arts before I was released. I thought I could be a famous radio personality. Like things would go as dreampt. That was 25years ago. I started writing poetry while I was locked up.
My dad can't read but I read my poems to him.... He tells me "you need to do something with this stuff ". I've tried only to be disappointed. I have books published through kindle direct publishing.
"Will write for food ""what colors humanity?" I know I chose to be a poet but do I really have to die before I'm discovered? I don't know.... I wish .....I'd just die before him.
He's so drugged up he's sitting up sleeping. He keeps counting cookies on the table. Nine dollars he says.. then he starts talking about his bank account. "I wish I could get this bank account right" he says.
Stop worrying about money dad! I love you! I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be somebody to make you proud! I Love you dad! God Bless you!
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Your Dad once told me, " I worry. I know I don't have to. He manages to servive. I just wish things were easier for him."
ReplyDeleteI love you Lauralynn
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